Today I met a former client for a coffee. I worked with Lucie almost one year ago. At the time her main motivation to come to me was to understand herself better, to know what she really likes as she felt confused about that at times.
What do I really like?
Do I like certain things because I have always done them? Because I do them well and that everybody expects it from me?
Deep down I am not sure I really like them – but if I don’t, what is it I do like?
A lot of confusion. A lot of questions.
Indeed we grow up doing certain things some of which we enjoy, others because we are simply asked to do it. And often confusion comes, because we do them well so ‘it must be a talent’. But sometimes that is not the case. There are things in life we do well, but not necessarily enjoy. It is a tricky distinction to make.
So with Lucie we worked on clearing up the clutter – getting a clear picture on what she loves doing, her talents and what she clearly doesn’t like doing, her energy drainers. And it was lovely to hear today, almost a year later, what effect this has had upon her.
With great enthusiasm she spoke about how that clear picture has increase her self-confidence in a ‘massive’ way. She feels clear about the things she wants to do, and evenly clear about the ones she doesn’t like doing. She feels comfortable standing up for herself, saying ‘no’ to the things she doesn’t want to do, she has learned to draw limits in order to protect herself. And does it with a clear conscience. She doesn’t feel bad about it, because she knows that accepting the request will have a negative impact upon her, and ultimately, her relations with the people close to her.
Lucie also notices herself doing things which she would never have done a couple of years ago. When she is in a group, though she might not feel one hundred percent comfortable with it yet, she differentiates herself in the group, contributes to the realisation of the task, gives her opinion, opens up to others, and finds herself even encouraging other people to give their best. She relates to people in a very different way.
And what’s more, Lucie even took up what has been her passion since childhood – singing. She has always loved singing, but had suppressed that desire to explore that passion for various reasons. Now, with the strong desire of being ‘herself’ and having found the strength to go for it, she is enjoying singing very much and practices even when traveling. She has joined a choir and has taken up private lessons too.
In short, she feels stronger, more confident, more at ease and has a stronger feeling of fulfillment. She enjoys her life even more!
As we see in Lucie’s case, knowing yourself enhances your self-confidence. The questions and doubts around who you are, disappear. You accept who you are and even better embrace your talents and your energy drainers. When you have that picture clear, choices become so much easier because you know whether it suits or doesn’t suit you. And once you have made that choice according to who you are, you are not looking back any more with questions such as, ‘maybe I should try it, you never know’.
Do you recognise the questions Lucie had? Do you wonder whether you really like some of the things you are doing? Would you like to feel stronger? Feel more assertive? Be yourself?
Here is an opportunity to make a change in your life. Come to the workshop: Turning YOUR Talents into YOUR Personal Brand.
On Saturday October 18,2014 at Hilton Vilamoura.
This workshop will be held in Lisbon in November. Details coming up soon.
